My 6 String Romance.

My Muse.

"Goddammit, I needa pee!
/sigh
"...alas it was all just a dream."

And so I woke up - bladder pounding and tanking - to the view of white ceilings to four picture-less walls. But more than that, I woke up from a dream :(

I dreamt of happier times...

*30 seconds ago...

It was in Curtin, right after a lecture while I walked on the pavement sidewalk. Unsuspecting I was, She caught up to me.
She was so beautiful, always the better sight in anything she was clothed in - casual but every time captivating.

We talked, and again the usually very not suave me, was on about our studies (sad I know...it gets better tho).
Well in my defence, it was 3 days before our major exam so I thought it to be a good place to start (weird how my mind runs my universe).

"Goddammit Ben, try to talk about something else for a damn change! Our studies were always an opener to our conversations...it's sad because sometimes that's the only thing we talk about (in real life lol)"

Going back to my short but awesome (that's what she said!!!) dream...

Talking...talking...on about our studies...and then

BAM!

She was holding my left hand before I could finish whatever lame sentence I was attempting to make sound cool and all smooth like.

And inside I was like "OMG OMG OMG! I must be dreaming, I better be dreaming cos I'm about to fucking shit myself!"

"Be cool dude, don't fuck this up! (Little did I know it was all just a dream :((("

And so I summoned whatever manergy I still have and buckled my failing knees and soldiered on LIKE A DUDE!

Immediately I thought it was like one of those drama scenarios where she needed a guy, just any guy to pretend to be her man so to fend off pervert fan boys.

Her hand, smaller than my own were as calm as they were fair, locking my bony digits where they were as if that's where they belong - the awesomest most perfect fit!

And so I went on without saying a word - my left hand as it was, neither rejecting nor embracing, face straight, power walking on and savoring every bit of the happiness that could be,
at the same time feeling like a giant tool - used only to serve convenience...

It




Was




Worth




EVERY BIT!

Nearing the uni bus terminal, where we walked the less populated walkway...


She: You can let go now...If you want.
Me: "Fuck no! Boo-yah I'm gonna get some! Suck shit loneliness!!!"

Lol...if only~ :P



She: You can let go now...If you want.







Me: I won't.

"AUU~RITE! I know, I know...I be PIMPIN'!!!"

Time was pretty much just a forgotten concept then, because I couldn't measure how long it took us to walk that last 8 meters to reach the bus terminal.

The bus came.
She turned around.
Our eyes locked.
We held us.
She walked away.
My left hand,
her hand left.

Man, I was floating!
It wasn't what happened in the past few minutes that made my day.
It was the thought of being with the girl of my dreams tomorrow, and looking forward to that the next tomorrow and the next...and the next...


and then...


"Goddammit, I needa pee!
/sigh
"...alas it was all just a dream."

*clap*clap*clap*

Very nice my subconscious mind, you have once again reminded me that I actually hate the reality, my life sucks, and I will always cockblock myself!


Psyche: Ben, here's the girl of you dreams! *high fieeeve*
Ben: OMHFG! About damn time I rock in my own subconscious universe!

and BAM!

Psyche: Wake up ass face, time to pee!

FUCK YOU PSYCHE! GIMME BACK MY FAKE HAPPINESS!

What kind of subconscious mind would taunt me with visions of pseudo elation just to wake me up to pee? How the hell does that even equate to regulating homeostasis? How pathetic am I, really lol.

Muse said it best in "Map of the Problematique".

Fear
And panic in the air
I want to be free
From desolation and despair
And I feel
Like everything I saw
Is being swept away
When I refuse to let you go

I can't get it right
Since I met you

When will this loneliness be over?

AWESOME SONG!!!
Damn you Matthew Bellamy and your awesome guitar skills!